When I was pregnant with Jude, I was pretty healthy.  I actually craved salads (vinegar) and greens in general so that helped.  I really took care of myself and I felt great.  I loved being pregnant.

I don’t remember worrying about baby weight after the birth.  Now, this might have something to do with Jude – whom was all consuming leaving me with no time to think about anything but getting him to STOP CRYING.  Part of that process was going on walks and boy did I walk.  Miles and miles and miles.  I walked all over Melbourne, catching up with friends and relatives on the phone with my Madonna headset, all sweaty and out of breath.  Yeah, that probably had a lot to do with dropping those extra pounds.

My second pregnancy was different.  All I could think about was fast food and donuts.  Which was weird.  And kind of awesome.  I remember one day driving past a McDonald’s and suddenly whipping the car around to go through the drive through.  Must.  Have.  Egg.  McMuffin.  I got the McMuffin Meal and as I was cramming a hash brown in my mouth I spotted the Dunkin Donuts on the far side of the parking lot.  (Yes, that’s right – I was sitting in the parking lot of a strip mall binging, more or less.)  I finished my ‘meal,’ got out of the car, walked into DD and happily purchased a Boston Crème AND a Jelly Filled.  I then walked back to the car and ate them both.

Needless to say, I put on a bit of weight – and not only while I was pregnant but after the birth I used the ‘breastfeeding mother’ excuse to continue on with my crazy binges.  Mostly donuts.  Maybe that’s why Rex is so sweet :)

So I have this thing I call ‘reverse anorexia’ where I think I’m thinner than I actually am.  Combine that with the fact that we don’t have any full length mirrors in our house and you got me, at 165 pounds thinking I’m looking pretty good.  Keep in mind that I’ve weighed, on average, about 135 (give or take) most of my adult life.

One day, not too long ago, I stood up on the bed to clean the ceiling fan (rental) and saw myself in the wall mirror from boob to knee.  Um, ‘HOLY SHIT.’  At that point I had stopped with the donuts and fast food but the fat from the binges was still there and not planning on going anywhere – clearly.  People would say, ‘you just had a baby!’ but how long can you really ride that train?  Rex is now 14 months old.  This is the last stop on this train.  Everyone please leave the train.  Thank you for riding.

I made all sorts of plans and promises about losing the weight but what was needed was a complete game change.  Enter “Eat to Live” by Dr. Joel Fuhrman.   I can’t remember where I heard about it but I read it and then asked Rhys to read it.  Pretty convincing stuff.  Rhys wanted to shed a few himself so we decided to give it a shot.

It’s been about 2 months and we’ve completely changed the way we eat.  It’s working.  In the year that I was sort of trying to lose weight before reading “Eat to Live” I lost about 8 pounds.  (i.e. not trying very hard.)  I weighed myself this morning:  143.  Getting there.  Keep in mind that I am doing zero exercise.  Rhys has lost 18 pounds in 8 weeks.  But it’s not just that – we feel pretty awesome too.

So the basic rules are:

• Eat a ridiculous amount of greens every day.  Like, a POUND.
• Stay away from animal products.  No dairy, no meat.
• Stay away from oils.
• Stay away from caffeine.
• Stay away from alcohol.
• Eat a lot of beans.
• Eat a lot of fruit.
• Eat nuts.

Sounds exciting, right?  I know, I know.  I love coffee.  I love alcohol.  I have no desire to be a vegan.  We are following the rules about 75%.   Mostly, for us, it’s all about the greens.  It helps that we love to cook.  Being Southern – I know my way around greens and Rhys reigns supreme in the Southeast Asian arena.

Nobody wants to eat a mound of steamed vegetables for dinner every night and if that’s your approach, you will fail.  Not once have we looked at our plates and thought, ‘sigh…let’s get this over with.’   But I’ve also invested in some cookbooks and have been willing to experiment.  Don’t get me wrong, for a while I kept accidentally making chili.  I thought I was doing something different and then I would taste it and…chili again.  But we’re definitely in the groove now.  This isn’t a diet anymore – it’ how we eat.  And the benefits aren’t just seen on the scales.  We’re healthier.  We feel great.  We’re nerds.   (That last one is what I think you’re probably thinking right now.)

The thing is, this still looks good to me:

And every now and then, I’m gonna eat the hell out of something like this.  And I can do that without feeling guilty or worried because 95% of the time I’m not eating something like this.

“Eat to Live” can be a bit extreme and even a little ridiculous at times but mostly, it’s science and it makes a whole lot of sense.  Have a look…

Packing up a house is time consuming so just a quick one today.

I was just cleaning the toilet and thinking about a babysitter we have.  She’s lovely, caring, nurturing and the boys really like her.  She’s also late 100% of the time.  Seriously, not once has she been on time.  It’s never really mattered all that much and I just plan for it.  If we need to leave at 7:00, I tell her to be here at 6:30.  Sorted.

She’s got that 18-year-old person thing going.  In her mind I reckon she sees herself as calm, easy-going, laid back and mature.  Being late plays into this.  And she always has an excuse.  I remember being that girl – with pizzazz no less.  You wouldn’t believe the reasons I came up with for my tardiness.  I think I figured the more far-fetched, the more believable.  I’m sure my bosses saw right through me just as I see through our sitter.

(this is what came up in a “18 year olds” Google search so I thought I should include it.)

So today I wanted to say two things to my readers of youth (and not-so youthful – you know who you are):

1.  Don’t be late.  Ever.  Think about how much time you’ll need and then add at least 30 minutes.  It’s never a bad thing to be early but being late says you value your time more than whoever is waiting for you to show up.  This is a bad thing that will reflect on you poorly.

2.  If someone sends you an email with a question in it, respond immediately.  Don’t think, “I need to properly respond so I’ll do it later.”  At the very least, write a quick note:  “Hey, just wanted you to know I received your email and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”  This is a good thing that will reflect on you positively.

Have a great weekend y’all!

Yesterday morning, Jude and I were watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse where Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy and Goofy were trying to help Pete exercise.

Jude said, “Minnie is Mickey’s sister.”  And I said, “Actually, she’s his girlfriend.  They love each other like daddy and me. “ So he asked, “And Daisy is Donald’s girlfriend?”  “Yep.  They met and decided they really, really liked each other and then spent a lot of time together and learned that they were very special to each other and fell in love.  That’s what boyfriends and girlfriends are.”

Jude then said, without any irony or humor, “And Goofy and Pete are boyfriends.”  This made me smile.

He didn’t even hesitate or wonder if that was ok – it was an obvious option – and I felt proud that I am raising a little boy that doesn’t think it’s wrong for two boys (or girls) to love each other.

I have friends and relatives who would be horrified by this – who would (lovingly) explain that it wasn’t ok or ‘what God intended.’  I’m pretty sure they all know where Rhys and I stand on this and so we don’t typically discuss it but it got me thinking.  How interesting to have a little person, a future adult, who’s never been exposed to any of the negativity, or even doubt, surrounding homosexuality?

We didn’t have to have an awkward conversation about how ‘sometimes, a man loves a man’ because in that one statement he demonstrated, in the simplest way, that he believes love is love.  That is the rule.  And this gives me hope for our future society.

We don’t make a big deal about it.  In our house, acceptance is the norm.  I know a time will come that this will be challenged but I hope that we (and all Jude’s ‘uncles’ :) are helping to build a loving foundation and a confidence that will allow our children to stand up to hate and discrimination.  Word.

I hate clutter – especially in my big, pocket-less mom-bag.  I also HATE knotted up wires (which seem to be everywhere in my house…RHYS.)  So I’m constantly trying to find ways to keep my obsessive-compulsive sanity.  Take the “Cord Taco” I just found on etsy (via Swiss Miss) for example.  Problem, meet solution – with style.  I love the simplicity.  Who know cord storage could be so chic?  Especially when things like this, this, and this are out there.  (Though, that giraffe is kind of cute.)

I like his iPhone Case/Wallet as well!

You know what’s awesome?  When you walk into the kitchen to find your 1-yr old playing with a piece of raw salmon.I’m pretty casual about what my kids get in to.  I remember the moment I ‘gave in.’  I was taking a video of Gary the Dog who was being super weird as usual.  I was only looking through the viewfinder so when I panned out a bit I saw Jude, who had just learned to roll over, with Gary’s back foot in his mouth.  This particular weirdness of Gary’s suddenly made sense but more importantly, as images of the dog park, people spitting on the sidewalk and hypodermic needles are racing through my mind, I thought, “I’m never going to be able to shield him from everything.”  And that was the beginning of much less stressful parenthood.

I have friends who are horrified at our carefree approach and I have friends who have said I’m the kind of parent they want to be when it’s time.  Moms can be a weird, judgemental bunch.  The most important thing is to do what works for you and ignore everyone else.  More on this later…

Need to give your eyeballs a break?  Check out this the website I ran across from graphic designer Jose Guizar:

The Windows of New York project is a weekly illustrated fix for an obsession that has increasingly grown in me since chance put me in this town. A product of countless steps of journey through the city streets, this is a collection of windows that somehow have caught my restless eye out from the never-ending buzz of the city. This project is part an ode to architecture and part a self-challenge to never stop looking up.

The the idea, the colors, simplicity, the fonts – it’s just so nice to look at.  Mucho gusto.

I curse a lot.  Usually under my breath.  Constantly in my mind.  Often at my dog.  Mostly at inanimate objects.  Rarely about other people.  Never at other people.  I love cursing under my breath.  For me, it’s a healthy reaction to a negative situation that allows me to blow off a little steam – or better yet, laugh – which I often do at myself.

Being a mom, however, has curbed my penchant for profanity a bit, the audible bit anyway.  I remember the day my husband warmly said, “Hun, you’re probably going to have to stop whispering c-bombs.”  Of course he was right.  My oldest son is like some sort of blind owl – he hears everything.

There was a scary pre-school moment when his teacher pulled me aside at pick up one day and said, “Um, we’re having a bit of an issue with potty talk.”  I’m like, ‘oh great.’  (Actually, in my mind, I was like ‘shitballs.’)  I put my concerned face on and said, “Really?  What is he saying?”  She says, “Well, it’s something I’ve never heard him say before and he just keeps saying it over and over.”  I’m thinking, ‘please don’t let it be the c-word, please don’t let it be the c-word, please don’t let it be the c-word…’

“Penis” she replies.  My concerned face was struggling very hard not to twist into an amused face and I’m pretty sure I ended up looking like I was in pain.  I envisaged Jude smiling, exuberantly jumping around yelling ‘penis’ like it’s the best thing ever and before I can get that image out of my mind, I let out a relief laugh.  “Oh, well that’s not actually a word we use at home.  We use the collective ‘junk.’”  I don’t know why I said this.  There was an awkward moment of silence as she stared at me with disappointment and I clenched my jaw and flared my nostrils trying to keep from laughing again which must have looked very weird to her.  Think about it.

Here are some alternatives I’ve been trying:
what the what?  (a la Liz Lemon)
son of a silver back gorilla
jeebus wepiticus
dick van dyke

So far so good…

Oh, and if you’re interested in having a laugh at another cursing mom, I suggest the book, “The Cursing Mommy’s Book of Days” by Ian Frazier.  Here’s an excerpt read by Cynthia Nixon:

We’ve been incorporating a LOT more greens into our diet. Everyone should be doing this but it’s not as easy as it seems. I think a lot of folks get stuck in a rut and therefore fall off the ‘green wagon’ or just don’t enjoy greens in general. For us, we were cycling through broccoli, asparagus, brussel sprouts and green beans weekly – all cooked pretty much the same way: steamed. I’d throw in a salad every now and then. It gets boring and I often felt like we were eating those greens not because they were soooo delicious but because I knew we had to. Every now and then I would branch out with some dark, leafy greens (collards, kale, mustard greens, etc.) but to make them truly delicious, I thought I had to cook the shit out of them, preferably with some sort of smoked meat. I’m Southern, it’s what we do.

Don’t get me wrong, that is a delicious way to eat southern greens and steamed green veggies are good for us – but it’s time to expand.

Here’s my recipe (tweaked from Bon Appetite) for Warm Kale, Beet  and Barley Salad:

INGREDIENTS
Vinaigrette
¼ cup avocado oil (if you can get  your hands on it, it’s way better than olive oil, in my opinion, but olive oil is ok too)
2 tablespoons white wine vinegar
1 teaspoon light brown sugar (optional)
1 teaspoon lemon zest
1 garlic clove, smashed and minced
s&p to your liking

Salad
1 bunch kale, center ribs and stems removed, leaves cut into 1-inch squares (or one of those handy pre-cut/washed bags)
¼ cup minced shallots
1-2 tablespoons avocado oil
2-3 medium golden beets, trimmed (you can use red beets but the whole thing takes on a pick hue which may or may not bother you)
1 cup barley
4 ounces feta, crumbled (optional)

PREPARATION
Whisk ¼ cup avocado oil, white wine vinegar, sugar (if using,) lemon zest and garlic in a bowl to blend; season with salt and pepper. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 375°. Arrange beets in a small baking dish and drizzle with a little oil. Season with salt and turn beets to coat. Wrap in foil. Bake beets until tender when pierced with a thin knife, about 45 minutes. Let cool completely. Peel beets. Cut into 1/4-inch pieces.

In the meantime, cook the barley in a large pot of water (salted if desired) until just tender, about 45 minutes. Drain barley and spread out on a rimmed baking sheet to cool completely.

In a wok or large skillet, medium/high heat a tablespoon of oil. Add kale and shallots and sauté, constantly stirring/turning for about 5 minutes.

Add the beets and barley to kale. Drizzle with lemon vinaigrette to your liking; fold gently to combine. Sprinkle with feta if using. Enjoy.

We seem to have a ‘usual’ Fed Ex Guy.  He’s very nice and efficient.  It’s the same thing every time.  Gary barks, the door bell rings, I open the door, there’s a package at my feet, I look up and he’s already back in his truck.  I smile; he smiles, gives a quick wave and drives away.

Well, the other day when I got to the “I look up” bit I noticed a different look on his face.  I smiled and he just sort of stared back at me.  I waved and he quickly looked away and drove off.  Weird, right?

That’s when I felt a draft across my left boob.  I looked down to see that my shirt was unbuttoned down to my belly button.  In a pretty awesome addition, it was wrapped around my left boob as if on purpose.  My flesh-colored mom-bra was catching the light in all the wrong ways.

Oh.

In his notorious letters to his son, Lord Chesterfield offered the following advice: “There is time enough for everything in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once, but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a time.”

I’ve never been a multi-tasker except in the kitchen – the only acceptable place for multi-tasking in my opinion.  Case in point – this blog.  I’ve had a lot on my plate this past year.  I had to prioritize and this little project went on the backburner.  But the truth of the matter is that I love it and I want to dedicate more time to it.  Anyone who knows me knows I love to talk and writing is an obvious and fun extension of that.  At the very least I’m going to post two weekly topics:

1.  “What’s for dinner?”  My little family is changing the way we eat and I love to cook so I thought I’d share the what’s and how’s of our Omnivore Evolution.

2.  “Full disclosure Friday.”  This is where I tell you things that I shouldn’t about my expericences and myself.  I am a consummate over-sharer – might as well have an arena for it.  Should be fun.

For today, I thought I’d offer some advice on multi-tasking:  don’t do it.  (Unless you’re eating and watching TV or something like that.)  Here’s some fun information and unsolicited opinions:

• In 2005, the BBC reported on a research study, funded by Hewlett-Packard and conducted by the Institute of Psychiatry at the University of London, that found, “Workers distracted by e-mail and phone calls suffer a fall in IQ more than twice that found in marijuana smokers.”  I don’t smoke pot but if I decided to knock my IQ down a bit you better believe that I’d choose weed over “multi-tasking” in an open plan office.

• Speaking of open plan offices – they are a drain on productivity.  It may not seem all that bad or maybe even a welcome distraction when a co-worker stops by your desk to ask a question, or when you get pulled into a conversation from two desks down.  But if that happens constantly throughout the day, you’re not getting your shit done and then you get all stressed out and you have to stay late or work on the weekend, you’re not eating properly, sleeping properly, etc.  Studies have found that office distractions eat an average 2.1 hours a day and that employees spent an average of 11 minutes on a project before being distracted.  After an interruption it takes them 25 minutes to return to the original task, if they do at all.  (From “Your Brain at Work“)  And you better constantly monitor your inbox as you’re expected to have a quick turnaround on emails or you’re considered an unproductive slacker.

• Cell/smart phones have created an epidemic of everyday multi-tasking issues.  Using a cell phone while simultaneously doing anything else can lead to:
  • Tripping and falling in public
  • Absentmindedly picking your nose in front of a new boyfriend
  • Death.  I don’t think this needs elaboration.
• Multi-tasking with your computer equals loss in efficiency.  Multi-tasking with a person equals relationship damage.  When you are with someone, please put your bloody iPhone away – at least for a little while.  (I include myself on this.)  It does not need to be in your hand at all times.  You do not need to be constantly checking mail, messages, Instagram, Facebook, Google, etc.  Look at me when I’m talking to you.  Look at your kids, that building, that plate of food or that quirky outfit with your eyeballs instead of a viewfinder.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m documenting the shit out of my life but I can get carried away and miss out on a bit of the actual experience and that’s not ok.  At least it’s not ok when I’m not alone.

Lord Chesterfield continued, “This steady and undissipated attention to one object, is a sure mark of a superior genius; as hurry, bustle, and agitation, are the never-failing symptoms of a weak and frivolous mind.”  So what I’m basically saying is that I’m smarter than you if you’re a multitasker – which you’re not because it doesn’t really exist.  No, I’m just suggesting that you focus on one thing at a time.  Set time aside and properly address emails, conversations, food, puppies and rainbows.  Make it a part of your schedule and let everyone you interact with aware.  Yes, I’ll answer your email – when I see it at 10am during my 1^st email and coffee hour.  Wait, is that mulit-tasking?

If you or someone you love is a victim of multitasking, check out “The Myth of Multitasking:  How “Doing It All” Gets Nothing Done.”